I'm usually nervous, apprehensive, and feel guilty about school, but school is over. I don't have to go to the library, meet with any group members, or work on any papers. The usual suspect is dormant, but now im bored with nothing really to do and nothing to really look forward to.
I've been thinking about what home means to me. I use to always consider home as southern california, but now i see it as a nuisance and a problem that i now have to deal with. How is it a problem? Portland is now my home. I enjoy the lifestyle and people. weird coming from a girl that was obsessed with driving a Bentley, wanting to own a Ferrari and wanting fake breasts within a couple of years.
I feel bad for making my life here with my family down there. I can't tell my parents. they would be heartbroken, crushed that i would even think of staying here after graduation. The end is looming, and i don't mean death by any means, but growing up. The time is near and im fucking nervous.
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