For a second there...

i thought it was you. The same pretty face, pensive eyes, same shoulders, and body. For a second there i couldn't breathe, my heart jumped into my throat. I thought for a second you had read my thoughts. Maybe you knew how much i still wanted to see you, maybe you felt how much i miss talking to you, and then reality struck.
Why would you be at a pool in Portland? You hate Portland. Why would you be surrounded by screaming kids? It's amazing the thoughts and feelings that come into mind within a split second.
It doesn't matter. I know what you have going and i know how you feel. Your tone and the sound of impatience from our last conversation still echoes in my ear, it still stings. The tone and irritation acts like an infection, crawls into my brain , catches a ride with a red blood cell, and travels south to my heart and takes refuge. It doesn't spread it's milder than i thought, but it's still implanted there. An implantation that i don't want. It causes problems, hallucinations of you being in a pool surrounded by children.

body poisoned

I'm sorry body, i've just poisoned you. All that fat is now being digested and pumped into all the major organs. I'm sorry that i do this to you. I'm sorry i don't take better care of you. I have tried and succeeded for a bit, but time, people, things have bogged me down. Now i feel forced and driven to hurting you. Sometimes i can't stop and find myself faced stuffed and crumbs stuck to the side of my mouth and face. I look around to see if there are any witnesses but there are none. Thank God, i am the only one that has to see myself in this gluttonous state. I will now excrete the poison and tomorrow is a new day. With many new possibilities to make you better and stronger.