oh heart

If i really wanted to, i could go back and make it work. I can tell by the tone in his voice and by the things he says. He's just as arrogant perhaps even more, but now pompous, and dramatic.
He says " you don't love him as much as you loved me"
I don't want to burst that bubble of his. It's what keeps him going, silly and ridiculous illusions.

I scared a suitor off. Just by fingering a few illuminated buttons. I don't really care. I probably did it on purpose, subconsciously while sipping on that sweet elixir that makes my head buzz.

I never scared him off even with 20 harassing phone calls within a hour lapse of time. He listened but also hurled insults which stung my ears.

It's okay, i'll continue to be irrational and sit in solitude. Accompanied only by memories of the past and the sweet conversations that we once had.

Is it Vile or Bile?

Vile or Bile it all means the same to me. This blog would of been a lot better yesterday. I'm not as angry about it today. Nonetheless, Bile, Vile I guess my liver is having some problems. I attribute it to all the nights of wine drinking in Italy. Actually I'm not really sure if that is it but, I've always known that my body was going to fail me a lot earlier than expected.

I weighed 3 lbs 6 oz when i was born. It was a big deal then not so much now. They have all kinds of technology that they didn't have before. My parents thought i was going to die and i was in hospital for 3 months after my birth. Every once in a while when my mom gets really pissed at me. She yells " Do you know how much we suffered when you were born!! Do you know how much your hospital bills were? And this is how you treat us?" I just kinda laugh and say" but you still love me right?"
Well seems like i will be back to the beginning where all the poking, prodding, ripping, and piercing started. I don't remember any of it and glad for it cause it was a scary site. I've seen pictures and I looked awful. Tubes and tape all over my little body. My parents say I looked like a little rat and they couldn't even hold me properly because i would slip from in between their arms.
Anyways, I'm sick. I've always kinda of known my body was going to give up sooner then later. I've been fragile from the very beginning, except now I'll remember it all.

Blabbers

I understand that blogs are blogs. Nothing serious, but what really fucking bugs me is that individuals that state that they are aspiring writers, majors in journalism, literature, or English are not able to put together a proper sentence or an idea that makes any fucking sense, or for that matter can't spell. There's a spell checker!!! No reason for misspellings. Now i 'm not a writer or pretend to have any good ideas or stories to write about, but those of you that are please, please, please use the spell checker!!! And articulate a proper fucking sentence.

Maybe I'm being so stinky because my arm just got jabbed by a needle at the hospital( blood tests). I'm a fragile human being and you would think that the nurse would have sympathy for my tinny little vein, but no!! She just slammed that needle into my precious little vein and held it there. I can see a bruise forming that will be a reminder of her unkindness for the next weak. Blah Blah Blah.. Poor me...